Original Names of Selected Entertainers
part 1
EDIE ADAMS: Elizabeth Edith Enke
EDDIE ALBERT: Edward Albert Heimberger
ALAN ALDA: Alphonso D’Abruzzo
JASON ALEXANDER: Jay Greenspan
FRED ALLEN: John Sullivan
WOODY ALLEN: Allen Konigsberg
JUNE ALLYSON: Ella Geisman
JULIE ANDREWS: Julia Wells
EVE ARDEN: Eunice Quedens
BEATRICE ARTHUR: Bernice Frankel
JEAN ARTHUR: Gladys Greene
FRED ASTAIRE: Frederick Austerlitz
Nothing quite beats Bob Marley & UB40 for calming down and hanging out music … ahhhhhh …
Song Play List:
Little Red Riding Hood … Sam the Sham
Renagades of Funk … Rage Against the Machine
Tori Amos … Professional Widow
Nancy Sinatra … These Boots Were Made For Walking
Cranberries … Dreams
Marilyn Monroe … Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend
Tons of new subscribers this month …
Welcome to the swirly goodness of this site: CatInTheMist, ZenMaster, Corrie, yogi, sarah_v, spicegui, Morbane, Spookyer, elvis_55, Vincent, jermschmitt, enigmatic, XMarksTheSpot, yeldah, TeckerDaze and Tain.
Quote of the Day
“I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.
If that makes me a bitch, okay.” –Madonna
REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
IS HARD TO LEARN
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
Let’s face it — English is a crazy language. There
is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t
invented in England nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t
sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t
fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of
booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy
that you can make amends but not one amend, that you
comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it? If
teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In
what other language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How
can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while
a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can
overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot
and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot
as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things
only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a
horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero
or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into
someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or
peccable? And where are all those people who ARE
spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the
stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up
my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I
end it. Hmmmmmmm……..
— Author Unknown
Geez … another paper cranked out an hour before class. I’m needlessly harvesting ulcers over a freshman compisition class, and I feel extreme guilt for not getting this done earlier in the week. I’ve just ALWAYS been a procrastinator. I can’t focus at night like I can under the pressure of a deadline. The only problem is that with the pressure comes the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and the “Oh-my-God-I-can’t-do-this-fast-enough” sensations.
Ramblings I had the other day …
____________________________
There are times of the day
That your memory rapes my mind
I can’t do anything but think
Of your smile, your kind words
I can’t help but to envision
Your hand in mine, clasped
Your well being is
The question of the moment
Was I really as bad of a singer
As you made me out to be
Or was that just another of
Your little jokes on me
You were such a big part
Of my life for so very long
We grew up together
In more ways than one
We were such happy kids
Even though we were
Starcrossed lovers
We sacrificed family,
Knowledge and purity
At the feet of the altar
Of passion and hopeless romanticism
We gave all we had
To unite our souls for a moment
We snuck off to be together
For seconds at a time
We married in a flurry
And fell more in love
Though I think we both doubted
That we could outrun fate forever
We sure tried, didn’t we?
And then you stopped
Trying to outrun it all
I dragged you along with me
For a while before I stopped
Burdened by your dead weight
And my aching, tired muscles
I was running a three legged race
With only one foot
It became emotionally draining
For me to look at you
To see your lips forming
The syllables of your lies
You’d rather yell a lie than
To mumble the truth
If you even knew the difference
Between the two at that point
We led the race with inevitablity
For a while, or so it seemed
Then we stumbled
And you took up residence there
At that point that we fell
While I tried to pull you along
One line might make a ring
But one person can’t make a relationship
I’ve learned that lesson
The hard way, like all the rest
Life is the toughest teacher of all
And I passed this class
With a face wet from tears
And a broken heart
And started the lesson of lonliness
With one big stride
Yeah, I realize that I wasn’t perfect
All of the time
But I did try to make you happy
And never strayed to another’s bed
I did my best to keep
The promises I made to you
The day we wed
Proof that a hair cut and color can greatly improve your outlook on life …
A Bit About Me
Pets: two 5 year old rottweilers, Harry & Maxie; a 9 year old female German shepard & chow mix, Moe, a 3 y.o. male yellow tabby & white cat, Leo
Height: 6’2″ Eye color: Hazel Hair color: Natural – a mousy brown
Currently – a light brown w/blonde highlights
Normally – reddish brown
Favorite ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey
To get an idea of what I look like picture this … the head of Kate Dillon, the boobs of Anna Nicole Smith, the body of Kathy Nijimy, wearing at any given point in time faded jeans and a tee-shirt
Favorite Disney movie: The Little Mermaid
Fast Food Restaurant: Sonic
Best quality in a person … good sense of humor, ability to laugh at themselves
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?In some mental institution … either directing art therapy or being a patient
Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? Pier One, Lane Bryant, the Clinique counter … choices, choices …
What do you do most often when you are bored?online crap, repaint picture frames and lamps, changing all of the pictures in my numerous frames