Good, Lord … did someone say her name three times?  Here she comes with that that traffic cone of a dog of hers.  He oughta be scared the way that little Marshall brat was gunnin’ for him this morning.  I think that is the dumbest dog I’ve ever seen.

Yes, ma’am. Good morning to you, too, Mrs. Henderson. Yes it is a beautiful morning. Yup, I did notice that.  She did seem a little more chipper than normal. No, I don’t know why. No, I don’t know anyone you can ask.

My Lord, that is one nosy woman.

Uhhh … you’re dog is watering my wild onions. Buster, boy, calm down. Heh heh … it’d be fine with me if every other dog in the neighborhood didn’t follow suit.

I have got to get rid of this woman and that pissing dog … Oh!  Good idea!

Yup, next thing ya know, every dog in the neighborhood is pissing all over the place and you’ll be swimming in dog piss smell to get your mail.  Yep … good talking to you, too.

Works like a charm.  Biggest prude I ever met.  Like piss is such a bad word.  Ya gotta love what works, though.

part 1 – part 2 – part 3 – part 4 – part 5 – part 6 – part 7