Today’s Rant
Junk Email Headers
Does anyone else get the amount of porn in their email that I do? These things have some of the oddest titles, too. Here are few just from today and this weekend. Enjoy!
“Watch me put this up my”
(Honestly, that was the title.) I’d really rather not, especially since I have no idea if it ever came out or not. If it’s a Coke bottle, I really like Coke and don’t want you to ruin a soft drink for me.
“Teens give great head”
Hmmm … I remember being a teenager, and I did not give great head. That took me a while to master. In fact, I’d bet the longer (no pun) that you do it the better you get. If you really want to convince me, change the title to “Forty Year Olds Give Great Head”. I’d believe that. I’m still not visiting your porn site, though.
“Open up”
I didn’t hear the doorbell ring … is someone here? Is there a flaming bag of poop? Again?
“Barely Legal Slumber Party!!!”
I went to a barely legal slumber party once. Instead of trying to get it on with each other we smoked pot though. That’s what was barely legal about it. Hey, my foot hurt, okay? It was for medicinal purposes!
“Attention all sex maniacs”
If I were really an addict, I doubt I’d want to be visually teased as opposed to getting the real thing. I don’t log on to look at chocolate. I walk down to the gas station and buy all of their 3 Musketeers.
I also get things trying to entice me to go look at non-porn sites. Today’s funniest example:
Have you seen the price of gasoline lately?
No, I intentionally turn my head in the opposite direction when passing by the gas station. Especially if I am going there to buy 3 Musketeers. It kills the mood otherwise.
Oh. My. Gawd! I hate friggin junk mail. If I wanted to look at porn I’d go to a porn site!!!
Swirly, YOU STOLE MY IDEA!!!! grrrrr. ah well, you probably did better with it than I would have, anyway… I was seriously laughing out loud…..
I get jealous when everybody but me gets porn emails! My best mate has the unfortunate surname of Cockburn, and you would not believe how many people want to send him ICQ messages…!
I hate it, but there it is. Everytime I open my mailbox. I usually just delete the mail that I don’t recognize as it is usually porn.
I’ve never gotten any of these and I think I’m glad. Do they just sent them to you in your email or what? Yikes.
LOL! Great responses!
I don’t get such junk email myself, but my heart definitely goes out to those of you who do!
what I hate is that you put a block on all the crap… Then they figure out a way to STILL send you this junk… BLECCCCH.
I block it and it still gets through…I have NO USE for viagra.
I have Yahoo as my mail server, right? Well the ABSOLUTE WORST is to get an email from (insert common name, like “Bob” here)@yahoo.com with the subject “hi” and then open it up to see that it’s a fuggin’ porn ad! I am so SICK of the “hi” emails, that I don’t care if it DOES sound like a “normal” person…I never open anything that ANYONE sends me that just says “hi”….UGH!
Really funny! I get those too.
Major props for that. I hate porn mail. Freek go somewhere else.
I got offered a chance to look at Jennifer’s tight pussy yesterday…
Are you sure it’s not you!?!?!?
Nyz xo
can forward those to me?
Now that was GOOD!! hahaha You got me laughing and looking harder at the emails I delete! haha
I’ve actually seen a couple of them….I think….I delete so fast I hardly have time to look…..
Those were hilarious! I also get that crap! Here’s one: “Remember me?” I always think that is someone from my high school….nope. At least I hope not!
My hotmail account is forever receiving nasty porn email. But the weirdest part is, I get viagra email too. Not to mention advertisements wanting to enlarge my penis and my breasts. What the hell do they think I am?!
I keep getting ones that say “I enjoyed chatting with you.” Funny…I think I’d remember chatting with a porn model. That’d be a hard (no pun intended) thing to forget.
Can I say HILARIOUS?? You are always either making me cry or laugh my @ss off!! Thanks for the laughs ~Kimber
One of my emails is a what I would call a junk mail magnet. I just emptied the mail box today and there was at least some 60 junk emails to porn sites, college degrees, credit cards just to mention few. Can’t really do anything about it, so I just let it be — I’ve directed all my other email elsewhere. If those people sending those stupid emails get kicks out of, so be it, just as long as it’s limited to that one email account and that alone.
I had that problem with a hotmail account so I deleted it and created a new one! I got it all: the porn, the viagra (a…hello…I’m a female don’t need that), the get a univ degree, the get a driver’s license!!! All crap!!!
The two I get are “consilidate your debts” and “enlarge your penis.” I’d rather have it the other way around, honestly.
This is hilarious!!!!
They are a curse, though…
Enlarge your debts and consolidate your penis? *cocks head to the side like a dog* EH?
just think though, someone is getting paid to write that crap!!!!!
Quote of the day candidate right there – “I don’t log on to look at chocolate…”