House-Sitting Journal
Intro

As I mentioned yesterday, Gray and I are house-sitting for our friends, Shane and Deanna.  This is proving to be a very interesting experience, so I thought I would share a bit about it.

The Friends
Shane and Deanna are a very sweet couple.  Deanna is my age, 24, and Shane is 29.  He is a Sgt. in the Army and Deanna is an upcoming senior at UNCP majoring in English and theater.  They are both from California.  They have been married for four years.  They are both into the theater and met Gray in the play he did in April, “Noises Off”.

Their House
It’s about 1100 sq.ft, counting the garage.  It has three bedrooms, two full baths, a kitchen, dining room, living room and the garage.  There is a fenced in side yard with a fire pit and a trampoline.  The backyard, adjacent to the side, is fenced in separately and is where the puppies run about.

Bedroom One: The Master has a huge bed in it.  The bed has a head and foot board, meaning that Gray (6’6″) and I (6’2″) get to sleep all scrunched up.  There is also some kind of board running up and down through the middle of the bed.  This means that I can’t sleep in my favorite spot at night and that if we snuggle, one of us gets to be sodomized by that board.  A 2×4 thong.  Yeah.

Bedroom Two: The Office has a teeny little day bed in it, a couple of bookshelves and a computer desk.  The computer is Gateway with a big ass monitor (drool) and a 56K connection (wretch!).  So I can see in great detail how slow I am going.

Bedroom Three: The Cat Room is home to S&D’s three cats.  They are really strange, even for cats.  The room has only three things in it: their food, their water and their littlerbox.  The boy cat has marked all over it and the entire room reeks of cat urine.  The cats are really temperamental and one of them bites you if you pet her wrong.  I plan on leaving them in their room most of the time.  They are little bitches to catch and return to their habitat when you do let them out.

The Pets
I have somewhat described the the cats.  S&D also have three dogs.  They are Sabbath, Candy and Harry.  We had to bring our dogs over, too.  We have Maxie and Moe.

Sabbath: One of the stupidest dogs I have ever met.  She is a tiny little rottweiller, the runt of her group.  Shane picked her out as a puppy and spoils her rotten.  Sabbath is about a year and a half old and hyper as hell.  She does not want to lay still and doesn’t obey commands.  (Sit?  What the hell is that?  Does that mean I should jump up and down?  Let me crawl in your lap!)

Candy: Candy is a mutt, rather skinny and very shy.  She was rescued from the pound by Deanna after she saw her on the news.  Candy’s left back hip was broken at a very young age and she is very cautious with it now.  She is a sensitive little dog and doesn’t eat unless you stand with her in the kitchen and pretend to wash dishes.  She gets whiny when S&D are out of town.  She obeys commands pretty well and is the dominant female.  She is about three or four years old.

Harry: Until a month ago, Harry was Gray’s dog.  We gave him to Shane because we are moving and needed to find him a good home.  Shane met him and honestly fell in love with him.  Harry is Maxie’s brother, from the same litter.  They are pure blooded rotts, first generation German.  They are five years old.  Harry is huge, about three feet tall, standing on all fours.  His head is bigger than mine.  Harry is pure muscle and is wonderfully obedient.  He understands sit, lay down, go outside, roll over, fetch and stay.  He looks really scary, but is a loveable thing.  He does drool excessively.  Big, long, strands of slobber hang off both sides of his mouth.  Harry is the only male and is not fixed.  He marked around S&Ds house after the first night, but hasn’t since.  He thinks Sabbath is his little sister.

Maxie: As I said, Maxie’s is Harry’s sister.  Where Harry has the brawn, Maxie has the gut.  She is shorter and smaller than Harry, but is more overweight.  She is also not nearly as attentive as Harry, and instead of drooling, she licks everyone.  She sleeps on her back with her paws dangling up above her.  She prefers to sleep on the couch, as well.  Maxie is going with Gray’s parents when we leave.  She is spoiled to the max.

Moe: Moe is the dominant female.  She is a seven year old Chow & Akita mix.  She is somewhat skittish, but ballsy as hell, too.  She was rescued from the pound by Gray’s dad.  She was very abused as a puppy and as a result doesn’t like to be yelled at, approached by someone who is angry and she dislikes going outside during the day.  She would live outside at night if you would let her, though.  She sits and lays down when told to and I’ve got her to play fetch on occasion.  Moe’s full name, according to Gray’s dad, is Modine Gunch.  Poor thing.  Moe will be Gray’s and my dog when we move to the apartment.  Moe is a real sweetie and protects me all the time.  I let her nap on the couch with me.  (No … she’s not spoiled.  What makes ya say that?)

part one … coming soon