Annoying Trick of the Day
Write “X – buried treasure” in random spots on all of someone’s road maps.
Site To Read
So where was this blog hiding? Under my nose from the looks of it! Wow – this may prove to be the start of a bee-you-tuh-ful friendship! 🙂
Do You Know?
What do the following people have in common:
Leonardo da Vinci M.C. Escher Matt Groening Michelangelo
Pablo Picasso Raphael Edward R. Murrow Dave Barry
H.G. Welles Lewis Carroll Mark Twain Bill Clinton
George Bush Gerald Ford Harry S. Truman Ronald Reagan
Alexander the Great Benjamin Franklin Julius Caesar
Napoleon Bonaparte Marcia Clark John F. Kennedy Jr.
“Buzz” Aldrin Helen Keller Ramses II Henry Ford
David Rockefeller Steve Forbes Joan of Arc Charlemagne
H. Norman Schwartzkopf Dr. Albert Schweitzer Albert Einstein
Bob Dole Colonel Oliver North Fidel Castro
General Colin Powell H. Ross Perot Nelson Rockefeller
Ruth Bader Ginsberg Senator Bill Bradley Louis XVI of France
Billy Corgan Bob Dylan David Bowie George Michael
Glenn Campbell Glenn Frey Isaac Hayes Jimi Hendrix
Johnny Rotten Kurt Cobain Sting Seal Robert Plant
Phil Collins Paul McCartney Paul Simon Michael Stipe
Brad Pitt Bruce Willis Cary Grant Charlie Chaplin
Christian Slater Dan Aykroyd David Duchovny
David Letterman Dennis Quaid Eddie Albert Fred Astaire
Freddie Prinze Jr George Burns Harpo Marx
Jason Alexander Jay Leno Jerry Seinfeld Jim Carrey
Jim Henson Joe Piscopo Keanu Reeves Keith Carradine
Marcel Marceau Matt Dillon Matthew Broderick
Michael Landon Mickey Rourke Peter Fonda Peter Graves
Rex Harrison Richard Dreyfus Richard Pryor Robert DeNiro
Robert Redford Rock Hudson Sylvester Stallone Spike Lee
Tom Cruise Betty Grable Carol Burnett Demi Moore
Diane Keaton Emma Thompson Greta Garbo
Joanne Woodward Judy Garland Julia Roberts Lisa Kudrow
Marilyn Monroe Mary Stuart Masterson Nicole Kidman
Oprah Winfrey Sarah Jessica Parker Shirley Jones
Shirley MacLaine Whoopi Goldberg
My Favorite Place On Earth
My favorite place on Earth to be is in the bed with my sweetie. It’s not what you’re thinking, Herbie. He lies on his back with his hands behind his head (calm down Azure!) and I curl up beside him with my head over his heart. It is so comforting to hear that thump, thump, thump. The sound of the heart that I love more than any other. {v}*happy sigh*{v}
(Okay, I realize that was pukey, but I do love him so much!)
Annoying Trick of the Day
Honk and wave at strangers.
This works on many levels. It will, in most cases, embarrass your passenger. It will either confuse or anger the stranger. It may cause their passenger to accuse them of meeting you secretly in the Motel 6 instead of attending PTA meetings. It could cause them to rack their brain for the rest of the day. Sure, yeah, it could make them think it was all an act of random kindness, but I’m not going to bank on it. Neither should you.
January 1977
Born on the 14th in Greensboro, North Carolina, I came into the world in the middle of an ice storm. (I consider this my first act of procrastination, considering that I was due on December 21st.) I appeared at 6:01 AM, weighing in at 8 lb. 8 oz. and measuring 24″ long. I had very little dark brown hair, blue eyes and big feet. I have since been told that I looked like my maternal grandfather, but I don’t think that is an accurate assessment. I didn’t have prominent nose hair.
My biological father heard that I had been born and popped by to let my mom know that he didn’t want anything to do with me. She agreed that if he stayed away from me that she wouldn’t go after him for child support. In the background a little girl cooed unaware that this would be the first and last time that she would ever see this man.
Being a married woman one-month into a separation, my mom was pretty poor and depended on the kindness of strangers for baby supplies and food for herself. She was given lots of blankets and quilts and decided to throw them on the kitchen table one at time and take “nekkid” pictures on my on my tummy, legs kicking and smiles churning. I guess people donated film for her Polaroid, too. (She decided to save these as blackmail material for the time when I started dating.)
Amazingly enough, I don’t remember much about this time. I know from my mother’s account that I spent a great deal of the first two weeks peeing and breast-feeding. Not a lot there to impress a memory, so perhaps that’s why I don’t recall any of it.
February – November 1977
Again. I don’t remember much about this time. Photos seem to point to the idea that I spent lots of time getting spoiled by my grandparents, taking baths and spitting out green and orange baby food. I also, evidently, enjoyed crawling about the house, pulling the cat’s tail, drinking apple juice and having my picture taken at K-mart.
At home, there was a great deal of time spent in a playpen and a beat up old high chair. My best friend was Raggedy Ann and I had a crush on her brother, Andy. I continued to grow taller and stronger and cuter. My eyes turned green and my hair turned blonde. I was a tomboy, proven by my first word: tractor. I had tons of the little green John Deer suckers and played with them all of the time. (Thanks, Grandpa!)
December 1977
In December, there was more apple juice and baby food and pictures with a Christmas theme. I got one of those little walkers that hold the kid up leaving their legs free to dangle, to encourage walking. I was moving around pretty well in that thing. I took Andy on my first date, to the family Christmas party. I ran around collecting bows on my head and opening presents containing baby clothes and toys. I smiled and laughed a lot and loved my mom’s dog, a big golden retriever named Molly. Yup, 1977 was a good year for the Swirlster.
Quote of The Day
When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before.
— Mae West (1892 – 1980) US actress
True Confession
I hocked my old wedding ring set.
My ex-husband and I separated September 9th, 1999. (Ironically, the date that all of those computers were supposed to screw up due to an end a file error: 9.9.99?) It had been a long time brewing and I had more of it than I could take.
One of the things he had screwed me over on was to not pay the power, cable or phone bills for the last two months. I had to pay these, almost immediately after I gave him the boot, out of my own money. (Let’s just say that someone was eating 10-for-a-$1 Ramen Noodles and drinking water for a few weeks.)
I knew that after all of the little “revelation sessions” I had after we split up that there would never be a reconciliation of any kind. I was through with him. I was hurt deeply. I was mad. I was sick every time I looked and my wedding/engagement ring set. I needed closure. I was broke.
I drove down to a neighboring town’s pawnshop and sold my rings and the guitar that he bought me as a “Oh-I’m-so-sorry” present for $350. I felt better. I got to restock the refrigerator and the chocolate stash. More than anything, it was one less reminder sitting around the house snickering at me every time I passed by it, ‘You put up with all of his shit for how long?‘
This past February he e-mailed me telling me that this girl that he met the month before is the love of his life and that he wants to marry her. He then asks if he can have my rings back to give her as a token of his affection.
I first expressed my sympathy for her, stating that I couldn’t imagine what she could have done to be the target of such a cruel joke of fate. I then told him that I had pawned the rings. I relished the audible gasp in my head as I imagined his response and hated that I couldn’t hear over the phone or see his face turn from a light tan into something resembling a beet with a goatee and glasses.
He fired back an e-mail saying that he couldn’t believe that I done such a heartless thing and that I was responsible for giving him the money that I got from my sale.
I replied, again, telling him that I would be more than glad to give him that money if he would give the money that he spent instead of paying our power, cable and phone bills for the last two months of our union.
Funny … he never replied. 😉
True Confession
I drop everything to watch “I Love Lucy” reruns.
This was one of the few shows that I was allowed to watch growing up in a VERY sheltered environment. I just love everything about it: the comedy, the little re conciliations at the end, the schemes, the bonds of friendship and love. Lucy and Ethel were the most glamorous housewives and Fred looks identical to my grandpa. Ricky kicked ass, too.
Annoying Trick of the Day
Pay for your lunch with pennies.
(This isn’t a good idea at the fast food drive thru unless you really like spit in your lunch.)