Month: July 2002

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Swirly’s Time Line
late May 1986 – late August 1986

William was born on May 25th. He was brought home late that afternoon. Lisa and I had to stay with Grandpa and Grandma that night. I took it as a bad sign. We were already being replaced. I was worried about Mom being alone with Paul, too. The next day we got to meet the baby. He was bigger than I had expected but he was adorable. I wanted to hold him but wasn’t allowed to until he was a month old.


Things around the house changed. Paul was a little less loud and vile and Mom seemed really happy. School ended for the year and we started our first summer vacation with Mom. I read lots of book in the back yard and chased Lisa around with snakes I had killed. I spent a decent amount of time ogling the boys whose great-grandma lived next door. The Whitaker boys, Travis and Shane, were a source of amazement for me. There were massively attractive and Travis was my age. They had started at our school that year and were instantly popular. We spent the summer climbing trees, playing kickball, giving each other rides in wheelbarrows and riding our bikes.


Mom seemed to be totally wrapped up in the baby and Lisa spent a lot of time with Grandma, who amazingly didn’t lock her outside during the day. Paul was always at work and still came home late from time to time. The fights were almost over it seemed. He told us to start calling him “daddy” even though I felt a little funny about it. I just wanted us to be one big happy family, so I tried. I also tried to impress him with my scrapes and bruises and my stories of trees conquered in the area. He seemed rather nonplused but I knew that eventually I’d outdo myself and he would be thrilled, so I kept trying.

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Emailed Joke


Wines At Wal-Mart?

BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) – Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item – Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-8 range.

While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of
Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for inexpensive wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: “The right name is important.”

So, with that in mind, here are the top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Doublewide

11. White Trashfindel

10. Big Red Gulp

9. Grape Expectations

8. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”

7. NASCARbernet

6. Chef Boyardeaux

5. Peanut Noir

4. Chateau des Moines

3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

2. World Championship Wriesling

1. Nasti Spumante