Swirly’s Six
Most Dreaded Personality Types
1 religious zealot who tries to convert people by acting holier-than-thou and pretending that their shit not only doesn’t stink but that it grows some special kind of flowers that prove that they are more in tune with God’s plan than you
2 ex-military dad who tries to whip everyone into shape by being an overbearing SOB and spends his free time drinking and devising more painful paddle bluelines
3 the young guy who gets married and then decides that he was not quite mature/old/settled enough to stop sleeping with other people so he starts cheating on his non suspecting wife and then turns to drugs/alcohol/abusive behavior when the guilt gets to him
4 the “I drive a more expensive car and therefore I am a better person” yuppie putz
5 “I’m an old white conservative bigot who hates anyone that is not my clone or that I can not control” and the equally obnoxious “you think you’re too good for me cuz you went and got ed-u-ma-kated” ignorant redneck with not a chip but a redwood on his/her shoulder
6 the woman that thinks she is more evolved and in touch with the universe because she birthed half a litter of children before she was legally old enough to drink
yuck. agreed.
all those types have ignorance in common too. gross.
couldn’t have said it better myself…
how about the guy who sneezes on you because he does not cover his mouth or turn away. the saleslady who makes you feel like you don’t deserve to buy something because it is expensive. people going to school who think they learn more than you now.
and finally: the people who come over and drink all the beer.
Heh my uncle is an archtypal Aussie redneck.. much as I love him.. I think he owns one pair of shoes and they’re flip flops (thongs in Australia), and spends his time devising intricate ways to kill the possums that steal the fruit from the paw paw trees in the backyard.. last I heard he’d rigged up a live wire from the mains and wrapped it round the branches and was electrocuting them..
*Sigh*
Never a dull moment
I don’t know how anyone can think having kids gives them experience. Dude, I never felt as stupid in my life as I did when I was left alone with Elijah for the first time. You have no idea how scary it is the first time they get a stuffy nose and their nostrils are too small to get the snot sucker into to clear it out.
agreed with all of the above. But I add one of my own:
the elderly gentleman who talks about how kids these days don’t know how to be polite, but then goes to the grocery store and not “please” nor “thank you” erupt from his halitosis-laden mouth.
wow. I had a bad day at work yesterday!
Love the list!
#1 really gets to me! LOL
Is it just me, or do we have a bigger ratio of numbers 1,5,and 6 here in the south? They’re EVERYWHERE!
-kh
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeew…I’m not up there.
(crazy middle-aged white woman who pretends she’s a warrior princess and talks about her boobs a lot…)
Agreed! Back at ya!
Top marks, swirly! Each and every one so correct it makes me cringe to think about them.
I think I have one of each in my family. Which would explain my fucked-upedness.