Stupid People
part 1 – Bertha Butt and the Rose Bushes
We live across the alley from a huge church with a daycare. The are times when the kids wave at me as I am leaving in the car, their little hands waving and big smiles on all of their little faces. Other than those few occasions, this arrangement is a huge pain in the ass.
People, who drop off and pick up their kids for the daycare, park in the middle of the alley or pull over to the side of our yard to park, thus trampling our rose bushes and smashing the grass. This happens on Sundays during service, too, but the day care parents are by far worse.
Yesterday as the the end of a long day of packing and moving neared, Gray and I pulled in to the alley beside our house. He was driving his dad’s truck, and as we rounder the corner into the alley, there it sat. Here was a guy, sitting there, car parked smack dab in the middle (directly, for those of you who are not Southern) of said alley.
I saw Gray’s face start to turn a salmony-pink. He honked the horn. The driver’s head popped up, glancing in the rearview mirror. The car cranked, the tail lights lit up, he started pulling forward and to the right. Yup. Right on the rose bushes.
Gray, whose face was going from blushing-bride to winded-pitcher, rolled his window was down so he yelled, “Hey, don’t park on my rose bushes!” At this point, the car was turned off and the head had popped back down. Enter stage right, his wife, Bertha Big Butt, and two sons. They looked to be most likely 5 and 9 years old and were being dragged across the street to the car.
Bertha looked into Gray’s window and said rather sternly, “He’s not on your rose bushes and he won’t do it again.” She trudged off, a kids hand in each of hers. When Mrs. Butt crossed in front of the truck she said loud enough for us to hear but not facing the truck, “Asshole.”
All hell broke loose and Gray’s complexion turned from blushing sailor to lobster red. He yelled out his window, “Oh that’s a great thing for you say in front of your kids while you’re standing beside a church! Look! You’re walking all over my rose bushes!”
Bertha looked back up at the truck and said, “No were are not!” At this point she was getting the oldest boy into the car and pulling a thorn out of her calf.
“Yeah you are, ya stupid bitch! You’re all over them!”
“No we’re not!” she bellowed again, kicking one of them in the process.
The youngest boy stopped on his way into the back seat, looked up at Bertha and said, “That man called you a stupid bitch, Mommy.”
She sniffed as if she was deeply hurt and said all pathetic-like, “I know he did baby,” no doubt for Mr. Butt’s benefit. They all got in and drove off. As they did, the youngest Butt boy turned around in his seat and looked at us with huge puppy dog eyes.
Gray was pissed off for about an hour over that. He kept replaying it verbally. Finally I calmed him down. “You saw the kid as they were leaving, right?” I asked.
“Yeah. I saw him staring at me all pitiful like that.”
“Well, sweetie,” I said “that is something that will probably stay with him for a while. One of these days, he’ll be driving down our street and will recall that whole interaction.”
“Maybe.”
“And you know what he’ll say when he does?” I continued. “That guy was right. She was a stupid bitch.”
i hope it made him feel better, you saying that!
hug him for me, ok?
Ig-nernt people are the wurst! (I just have to be southern for a bit, k?)
I say you put up electrical fencing.
The electrical fence sounds like a grand idea. My grandad used to have one. You would believe how it made a full grown hog squeal. Just think what it could do to Mrs WideAss! Of couse, then you’d have to put up with the squealing…
yeah, the electrical fencing is a cool idea…..or maybe sacrifice the rose bushes (
) and plant poison ivy in their place. Or you could leave one of those nail strips the cops use to stop high speed chases across the alley when you are out….just don’t forget about it when you come back!
We’re about to face a similar problem in a house three down from a school. We don’t so much have a problem with trampling grass etc, but cars have a habit of parking directly infront of our driveway which is a right pain in the ass.
And yup, you and the kid are definitely right!
There are far too many people out there who are so thoughtless and unaware of things around them. I feel sorry for those children…
LOL people I swear… I hope you’re right about the kid.
We are just passing through and leaving beer
Yikes! Sounds like these people need to get a grip. Your poor hubby. Hope he gets over it soon. Great blog!
Funny!!
why didnt he just kick her ass?
Kids do learn from their parents. It could go either way.
If the kid flipped you the bird, you would know for sure he was a butt-in-training. Maybe he has a chance to learn how not to act.
Why don’t you dig a big pit big enough to swallow a car tire and cover it with rose?
Pete
Im the type of person that would have just jumped out of the truck and opened a can of whoop ass on Mrs. Big Butt!! Glad you can restrain yourself better than me:o) ~Kimber
I can’t stand stupid people like that, either. I pity their children. To have to live with parents like that for their entire youth! The horror!
Great blog, swirling!
Glad to know that people in other neighborhoods like to stop in the middle of the road too! I guess pulling over to the side of the road while you wait just doesn’t exist anymore. Did we loose the “side” slowly over time?
I love you Swirly! What a way to make something positive out of the situation!
-kh
Some people are just completely rude. I’m still wondering why the driver kept ducking his head down… wierd!
Good for you Swirly! I am in elementary education and see parents that shouldn’t be parents all the time. Sorry that happened to you & I feel for the kids having to LIVE with that each day.
Maybe next time pull in and block them in? Park so close that mrs wide-butt cant get in the car? Sorry to hear about having to deal with ignorant people. Some folks think that they are the ONLY ones on the earth. Rude.
What f***s the most is that there are more people like them in the world than there aren’t. ::sigh:: Blessed be!!!
I like the poison ivy solution….it’s organic and all…
Oh, the Blobsters on a family trip? *LOL* Why didn’t Gray kick some Big Butt’s?
Has the Xanga hiatus bug struck you too, Swirly?
I would be sooooo mad at that horrible woman, in fact I am, even though I don’t know her, but just the idea that there are ppl like her and her husband out there. What an inconsiderate person! And to say that in front of her kid!!!
Damn! I woulda kicked their big butts to high heaven! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Damn idiots! (Can you tell I have a temper?)
The Duchess