How many nights have I wished upon a traveling plane instead of the intended star?
Author: Jennifer Hogan
Small Town Life Oh, God I hate this part of the drive. I gotta drive by the gas station and that tall guy will be looking at me. I know I should have paid that five bucks back before now, but I didn’t realize it until I got home and I’d rather die than go in after all this time and explain it. I just wish he wouldn’t look up at me with those big brown eyes. I feel so damn guilty. That was probably an hour’s salary to him. Gees … and there he is and here’s my right turn … Whew. That’s over. Every morning the same thing, turn right on 11th Street, a left onto Maple, dodge the pothole, avoid hitting Buster, wave at Mrs. Henderson, avoid looking at half naked Mr. Abrams on his front porch drinking juice reading the paper, and now the stop sign. Now, do I have the willpower this morning not to drive by the nail shop? Hmm … do I or not? I’ll let the radio decide. If I turn it on and it’s a song I like, I’ll take the direct way to work. If it’s a song I don’t like, I drive by to see if he’s there. I hate this song, left at the stop sign and proceed onto 8th Street. Pause at the stop sign and a left on Elm. Slowing down to a creep, (God I’m clever!) peeking around the back of the building, no car. Hmm … where the hell is he? Oh, I know, I know. He’s still in bed with the hussy no doubt. I hope she has awful morning breath this morning. Maybe he’ll take one look at her and kick himself for ever leaving me. Heh heh … old bat. GOD! I hate that I do this every morning! If he’s there I agonize over whether or not he saw me and if he’s not there I drive myself crazy wondering where he is. I have to stop doing this … oh, well. I owe, I owe so off to work I go.
part 2
Brenda Massey
Small Town Life
part 1
Carl Matthews
It’s about that time, lemme get over here so that I can get a better look.
Mrs. Mabley, do you wanna fill ‘er up today? Okie dokie, ma’am.
Oh, here we go, see the burgundy Camry? It’s a 91, a good year for a good car. Yep, that’s her – name is Brenda. Everyday she drives by here on her way to work. She’ll stop at the light and turn right on 11th Street. My God, you can look, but don’t LOOK. I don’t want her to know I’m watching.
That Brenda is a sweet gal. ‘Had a helluva life, too, lemme tell ya. She got left by her husband for this older woman that came into his nail salon all the time. She deserves better than a cheater. She’s a good, honest woman and a rare specimen around here. She keeps her oil changed and gets the car looked on a right regular basis. That’s the makings of good mother material there, I tell ya. Takes care of that car like it’s made of gold. Not many women like that in this town, I know better than most on that subject.
Last time Brenda was in here to get her oil checked I rang her up at the register. She accidentally gave me a five instead of a ten, an honest mistake. I didn’t want to embarrass her so after she left I took it out of my own pocket and paid it. She needs it worse than I do, she’s having to support herself since that good for nothin’ husband of hers ran off with that ol’ bat.
Yes, Mrs. Mabley, you have a good day, too, ma’am. Come see us again real soon!
Now, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, he ran off with that ol’ bat and Brenda had to take over the house payment and start supporting herself. You’d never know she had it rough though, she’s just as pleasant as can be.
Do I fancy her? Oh, Lord … do bees fancy the flowers? I got about as much chance of getting her attention as you do getting your inspection sticker without getting that turn signal fixed today. Well, maybe a little less of chance to tell the truth.
Pull that monstrosity on around here and we’ll get you squared away. Oh, and as for this Brenda nonsense, let’s keep that to ourselves, okay?
New Way To Kill Time Online
This is really fun and somewhat addictive … enjoy!
The Face Game
Original Names of Selected Entertainers
part 12
MIKE NICHOLS: Michael Igor Peschowsky
CHUCK NORRIS: Carlos Ray
NOTORIOUS B.I.G.: Christopher Wallace
HUGH O’BRIAN: Hugh Krampke
MAUREEN O’HARA: Maureen Fitzsimons
PATTI PAGE: Clara Ann Fowler
JACK PALANCE: Walter Palanuik
BERT PARKS: Bert Jacobson
MINNIE PEARL: Sarah Ophelia Cannon
BERNADETTE PETERS: Bernadette Lazzaro
EDITH PIAF: Edith Gassion
SLIM PICKENS: Louis Lindley
MARY PICKFORD: Gladys Smith
STEFANIE POWERS: Stefania Federkiewicz
PAULA PRENTISS: Paula Ragusa
ROBERT PRESTON: Robert Preston Meservey
PRINCE (THE ARTIST): Prince Rogers Nelson
Are you missing these items on your computer?
Original Names of Selected Entertainers
part 11
MOMS MABLEY: Loretta Mary Aitken
SHIRLEY MACLAINE: Shirley Beaty
ELLE MACPHERSON: Eleanor Gow
LEE MAJORS: Harvey Lee Yeary II
KARL MALDEN: Mladen Sekulovich
BARRY MANILOW: Barry Alan Pincus
JAYNE MANSFIELD: Vera Jane Palmer
MARILYN MANSON: Brian Warner
FREDRIC MARCH: Frederick Bickel
PETER MARSHALL: Pierre LaCock
WALTER MATTHAU: Walter Matuschanskayasky
DEAN MARTIN: Dino Crocetti
MEAT LOAF: Marvin Lee Aday
FREDDIE MERCURY: Frederick Bulsara
ETHEL MERMAN: Ethel Zimmerman
GEORGE MICHAEL: Georgios Panayiotou
RAY MILLAND: Reginald Truscott-Jones
ANN MILLER: Lucille Collier
JONI MITCHELL: Roberta Joan Anderson
MARILYN MONROE: Norma Jean Mortenson (later Baker)
YVES MONTAND: Ivo Livi
RON MOODY: Ronald Moodnick
DEMI MOORE: Demetria Guynes
GARRY MOORE: Thomas Garrison Morfit
RITA MORENO: Rosita Alverio
HARRY MORGAN: Harry Bratsburg
MR. T: Lawrence Tero
PAUL MUNI: Muni Weisenfreund
In The Works
I have been writing a little ongoing thing somewhat like a short story. It has a cast of characters in it that tell you their story first-hand. I have been toying with the idea of pasting it in bits and pieces here … any interest?
Answer To Email
Okay, okay … I’ll stop being so cryptic. I got an email asking me why I call my main squeeze “Mr. Sweetie” and not by his real name. Well, the reason is because he has a very unusual name and he is on Xanga as well. It would be REALLY easy to figure out who he was and honestly I don’t want to be the next Xanga soap opera. I prefer to call him “Mr. Sweetie” and so I shall, but at least you know why now. Satisfied?
Chicken Waldorf Salad
2 small red apples, cored, peel on, cut into small cubes
2 tsp lemon juice
1 full chicken breast, cooked, chilled, cut into small cubes
2 cups sliced celery
1/2 cup raisins
1/4 cup pecans, chopped (optional)
Dressing:
1 cup palin nonfat yogurt
2 Tbsp + 2 tsp reduced-calorie mayonnaise
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp ground allspice
Toss apples with lemon juice. Add chicken, raisins, celery, pecans. Mix dressing together and toss well with the rest to coat. Cover and chill several hours before serving.
Makes 4 servings, each = 1 fruit, 1.5-2 protein, 2 veg, 1 fat, .25 milk